48 Badass Facts about Spartans

Sparta was the prime city-state in ancient Greece. Around 650 BC, it gained prominence as the dominant military power. The Spartan army was the nucleus, the hub of the power of the state. The society was predominantly warrior in nature and even citizens were trained to fight for the honor.

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The Spartans were schooled for the military right from adolescence and were feared for their daredevil nature. It was said that- “one Spartan was worth several men of any other state”. The military was not just to safeguard the society but was the way of life.

The famous battle of Greek history ‘The battle of Thermopylae’ was the inspiration for the movie 300 (2006). One dialogue of the movie by King Leonidas sums up the flaming spirit of the Spartans- “The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed”.

Here we have compiled 45+ facts about the most intimidating human army that earth has ever had.

48. Birth of a Nation

The iconic Spartan army was the brainchild of a legendary lawgiver named Lycurgus who referred to Sparta having “a wall of men, instead of bricks.” Let’s see the Big Bad Wolf try and blow… never mind.

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47. Brevity is the Soul of Badassery

Spartans were known for being to the point. Before Philip of Macedon invaded Laconia, he wrote a letter to the Spartans saying, “If I invade Laconia, I will drive you out.” The Spartans responded with a letter that simply said, “If.”

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46. A Capital Idea

These quick and concise responses for which Spartans were famous are actually the origin of the word “laconic,” which is derived from Laconia, the administrative capital of Sparta. For those like me who were about to Google “laconic,” it means “using very few words.”

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45. Pumping Iron

Pursuit of material wealth was discouraged by Spartan law, so coins were made out of iron instead of gold or silver. This made stealing difficult, because iron is heavy. Also, good luck outrunning the Spartan you just robbed.

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44. Beauty Standards

Spartan warriors were expected to be strong and fit and, every ten days, young men had to stand naked in public so their bodies could be inspected. Those who failed to meet standards of physical fitness were beaten and censured. Mmm. Socially-embedded bullying. How delightful.

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43. Ancient Fat Shaming?

Soldiers had strict diets because they were focused on remaining physically fit as both a point of pride and to avoid beatings. Anyone who was overweight was ridiculed in public and at times banished.

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42. Fighting Tooth and Nail

During the famous Battle of Thermopylae, the events of which were depicted in the film 300, Spartan soldiers continued to fight despite losing their weapons, resorting to using their nails and teeth in an attempt to bite and scratch their way to victory.

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41. Runaway Baby

Cowards were not treated kindly in Sparta. They would have to give up their seats to non-cowards and often would not be able to find a woman to marry.

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40. Justice is Blind

During the famous last stand against the Persians in Thermopylae, a Spartan named Aristodemus suffered from a disease of the eyes and was too ill to fight. When he returned to Sparta, he was branded a coward. A year later, he fought at the Battle of Plataea and shed the brand of coward… by dying horrifically.

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39. The Punishment Fits the Crime

According to Plutarch, another punishment for cowards was that they had to “go around unkempt, wearing cloaks with patches of dyed cloth, and with one side of their beard shaved.” So cowards were punished by being forced to be hipsters.

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38. Preparation is the Key to Success

Like armies in other Greek states, the Spartan army was infantry-based and fought using the phalanx formation. They didn’t introduce any real innovations to the formation, but their constant training and discipline just made them better at it.

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37. Shields Up!

Shields were of very high significance, and a soldier who lost their shield was severely punished. This was because shields weren’t seen as just there to protect the individual, but there to protect the entire army.

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36. Hide Your Delicates

Although in films, Spartans went into battle with bare chests, in reality, they often wore full body armor because they weren’t movie stars who wanted to show off their abs. That said, Gerard Butler did have exceptional abs.

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35. It Ties the Outfit Together

The armor they wore was the same hoplite equipment used by their Greek neighbors. The only difference was the crimson tunic and cloak.

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34. Pride and Joy

The crimson color of their robes was symbolic of the pride they had in the women of their community. It was also meant to cause terror in their enemies.

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33. Stupid Hippies

Spartans were also famed for having long hair. To the Spartans, long hair was the symbol of a free man. Of course, to other Greeks, by the 5th century, long hair meant having pro-Spartan sympathies.

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32. Finding Dory… In Your Face

The Spartan’s main weapon was the dory spear, which was 7 to 9 feet in length with a wooden handle, an iron spearhead, and a bronze butt-spike for counterbalance.

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31. Butt What?

The bronze butt-spike, also known as a “lizard-killer,” was there to both allow the Spartan to stand up the spear up and also to be used as a secondary weapon if his spear broke. Additionally, it could be used to vertically stab their fallen enemies as they marched past them.

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30. Death First!

Similar to Samurai, Spartans were expected to kill themselves rather than surrender or face utter disgrace.

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29. Mass Suicide Wasn’t an Option?

The Spartans actually did surrender during the Battle of Pylos during a particularly disastrous fight where many Spartans were taken hostage by the Athenians. This event shook the Greek world as it was commonly believed that Spartans would never surrender.

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28. A Healthy Marriage

Spartan men could marry after age 20 but were required to live in military housing until the age of 30, so anybody who got married had to live apart from their wives for a few years, which honestly doesn’t sound that bad…

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27. My Handsome Wife

On their wedding day, Spartan women shaved their heads and dressed in men’s clothes and sandals. Then prospective brides laid alone in the dark on a pallet, waiting for their grooms to come and steal them away in the night. The groom then snuck into the room, consummated the marriage, and escorted her back at her parent’s home. Done. Married.

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26. Beauty is But a Light Switch Away

Because of the nature of these consummations, many Spartans became fathers before ever seeing their wives in daylight.

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25. A Slave by Any Other Name

Spartans had slaves known as “helots” who acted as farmers, servants, and generally any other duty that would take Spartans away from their military duties. Helots were usually conquered Greeks and with each new conquest, Spartans would gain more helots.

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24. But Who Slave Polices the Slave Police?

The Spartans had a secret police known as the Krypteia who were responsible for keeping helots in check. They would kill any helot found in the countryside during the night and any helots who looked too strong and fit during the day. Perfect for the helot who likes to go to bed early and hates exercise.

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23. The Most Dangerous Game

The Spartans would also hunt their helots as part of their training.

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22. Trust Issues

Spartans had special locks on their doors because they didn’t really trust the helots, which is weird, because if you can’t trust a people you’ve conquered and would murder for sport, then who can you trust?

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21. Classy

While helots were primarily responsible for agriculture, lower class citizens who weren’t soldiers took care of manufacturing laboring, and other trade jobs.

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20. Worst… Salad… Ever

Athens was once conquered by Sparta and, over the next year, over 1,500 Athenians were forced to eat hemlock, which is not part of a balanced and healthy diet.

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19. Two Kings to Rule Them All

Sparta had two kings from two different ruling dynasties. Their explanation was that during the fifth generation after the God Heracles, from whom legend claimed all Spartan kings descended, twin sons were born, which formed the bloodline for the two royal houses, Agiad and Eurypontid.

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18. Chore Wheel

The duties of the kings were limited, but one would travel with the soldiers into battle while the other one would rule from home. I wonder if they decided which was which with a spirited game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors.”

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17. He Was Ready for his Closeup

During the Persian war, the two Spartan kings were Leonidas and Leotychidas. Of course, Leotychidas didn’t get a single mention in the movie 300 because he didn’t have the abs for it.

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16. Big Government

The ephors were a branch of Spartan government with no Greek equivalent. Elected from their population of male citizens, the role of the ephor was to balance the role of the king. So if the king were president, the ephors were The Senate, The House, and the Supreme Court all rolled into one.

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15. Gender Roles

Women in Sparta had much more freedom compared to Greece. Women would undergo physical training alongside the men, although in their case, it was to prepare for the war that is childbirth.

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14. Getting a Head

The only Spartan citizens who were given headstones after burial were soldiers who died in combat and women who died in childbirth.

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13. If at First You Don’t Succeed

If a married Spartan woman was childless, the government could order her to see if another man could do a better job at impregnating her. They had little choice in the matter as Spartan law was strict about encouraging new children since they had to keep replenishing the population that they kept sending to die in wars.

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12. Quality Control

Infants were given thorough inspections and if any defects were found, they were left to die.

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11. Early Enrollment

All Spartan citizens were expected to be professional soldiers, and children were removed from their homes at the age of seven to begin training.

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10. Cool Whip

Spartan boys were flogged with whips for an entire day and would compete with each other to see who was capable of resisting the highest number of lashes.

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9. Oops, I Did It Again

Although these flogging sessions were meant to be harmless (relatively speaking). Sometimes, they did result in accidental death.

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8. Survivor

By the age of twelve, Spartan boys were expected to be able to survive in the wild with nothing. Like, no Internet or anything.

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7. Survival of the Sneakiest

Although the boys were encouraged to steal to stay alive, they would be beaten if caught.

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6. Fight Puppets, Fight!

Children were also encouraged to fight at a young age and many times, older men and teachers would deliberately create conflicts between the boys to promote fighting, not unlike a reality TV show.

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5. But Don’t Forget to Learn

Children were also coached on reading and writing, and they had to learn battle songs that were sang on Spartan military campaigns. They were also encouraged to compete against each other in various sports (much like in Hogwarts). They also had to give competitive demonstrations in the fields of athletics, dancing and music.

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4. Love or Banishment

Relationships between adult males and adolescent boys were common, and often formed between mentors and mentees. However, if a relationship was purely physical, both men could be banished.

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3. A Glass a Day

Wine was popular in ancient Sparta, liked but never to be over indulged in. The Spartans would drink wine with or after most meals, although they typically watered the wine down. Children were warned to stay sober and to thought about the dangers of alcohol. In fact, helots would be forced to get drunk to demonstrate alcohol’s negative effects.

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2. Inspired

King Nabis of Sparta used an iron-maiden like torture device that was made out of a mold of his wife to force obedience upon those unwilling to take his orders.

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1. Not Above the Law

Even though the kings of Sparta came from royal bloodlines, they were still judged as civilians and held to the same laws of the community.

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